Scourge and Transparency

The Rise and Fall of Advanced Social Journalism during the Early Twenty-First Century

Why Tim Hortons is what’s wrong with the day-to-day activities of everyone in this nation

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Tim Hortons is definitely the most popular coffee shop in Canada. It offers inexpensive coffee and a wide array of other bake goods, sandwiches and soups. But it’s known primarily for its coffee. I think it costs around $1 -$1.75 for a cup (depending on the size). According to Wikipedia Timmy’s is Canada’s top food service operator – ahead of McDonalds. People line up every single day to get a hot cup of joe at their local (and there are many) Tim Hortons. This is the biggest waste of time and money conceivable and so many Canadians are willing victims of it. It’s coffee, it’s just fucking coffee! Not a hot meal, not a beer, not even a hand job. I am looking presently right at my coffee maker and coffee container, which was provided like many other young people living at home by my parents. I can make this shit for free! It takes seconds! I didn’t pay for gas; walk through the snow and use cash (some Tims don’t even take credit/debit) to get coffee from my Black and Decker 12 cup coffee maker. Even if I had personally paid the $30 for the coffee maker and the $10 for the coffee, the coffee maker will last a decade and the coffee last months – I would still be better off.

People go to this coffee shop everyday. That means these many Canadians on average pay $1.50 five times a week (excluding weekend visits and afternoon/evening purchases) 52 weeks a year. That equals $390 a year and this can go on for years and years and that doesn’t include the money it costs them to travel there and the time they are taking out of their day to go and pick up coffee. I’ve seen drive-throughs (god-forbid you turn off your car [it’s not like there is anything wrong with the environment] and walk 15 feet from your parking space to the restaurant) with at least 10 cars in a line up that could be waiting for at least 10 minutes for just effin coffee. It’s takes me 5 seconds to walk from my bedroom to the coffee maker and press a fucking button.

Tim’s coffee is not even great coffee. It tastes like the shit you make at home. The regular joe there is exactly like the stuff you have in your kitchen. And don’t give me this fresh bullshit, every store that provides coffee makes it fresh and any capable adult can make fresh coffee in their house. It’s not feat or any kind of amazement that the coffee is fresh – that is just a given. And don’t tell me you don’t have time to make coffee. It’s not like time does not exist when your go to Tim Hortons. How can you have time in the morning to travel and pay for coffee but not pour some water, scoop some coffee and press a button? Don’t piss on my shoe and tell me it’s raining, please. It’s not an orgasm, it’s a cup of coffee, you can do it whenever you want.

Now, I’ve drank this shit, under certain circumstance. People have bought me Tim Hortons or sometimes when I’m traveling and I need to have my morning/afternoon caffeine fix. That’s the thing; I’m addicted to coffee. I’m not a non-coffee drinker criticizing people that need to have coffee everyday; I drink at least 3 cups a day. I’m a coffee-addict criticizing other users that waste their money on the same shit they have in their kitchen.

And then there is this whole social aspect to it – “let’s go out for coffee!” – I don’t know…I don’t get it. Alcohol is a good thing to go out for – it is the social lubricate. But if getting intoxicated is not your bag then there’s food – everyone needs to eat. And yes, coffee is a simple and quick thing to have a conversation over. But why go to a place that charges you for shit that everyone in the Western World can make in their house. Why not really splerch and go to Starbucks or Second Cup and get a drink that tastes a lot better and you probably can’t get at home. SB and SC probably cost around double of what you pay for coffee at Tim Hortons, but that doesn’t make too much difference if you’ve saved hundreds of dollars by not traveling and purchasing Timmy’s everyday of your adult life. Plus in the winter Tim Hortons smells like shit with the wet muddy snow being dragged in.

Obviously the economic factors for avoiding Timmy’s are overwhelming, but let’s not forget the environmental factors. I will bet the cost of a college education that Tim Hortons is responsible for at least 1/3 of the litter in Canada. I worked at a park this summer and I picked up endless used coffee cups. And this was out in the boonies I can only imagine the amount of used Tim Hortons cups and packaging scattered around the streets of the big cities in Canada, or for that matter the public’s personal garbage that may consist heavily of Tim’s rubbish that just sits in land fills for generations.

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I grew up in the great city of Hamilton – the birthplace of the restaurant that eats and destroys the common sense of so many Canadians. Everyone could save hundreds, even thousands, of dollars over years of their lives and the environment would be a much better place if we all cut back on this incredibly avoidable activity that is Tim Hortons.

More of this complaining and commentary is to come…

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Written by shanedantimo

January 11, 2009 at 12:00 am

One Response

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  1. Ok so I am in no way a coffee drinker, but I used to have french vanilla cappuccino’s 2-3 times a week in a regular week. During exams I would have 2-3 before I would get to my first class to keep me going. Unfortunately, I had to give up pretty much everything and anything acidic 😦
    I agree with you where when people go and wait in line for 10+ minutes either in their polluting car or in the stinky and cramped store obviously cannot complain that they ‘don’t have any time’ to make a cup of coffee at home in the morning. However, when someone I know is on campus and they need a coffee, I don’t expect them to bus back to the burbs to make a pot of coffee in the middle of the afternoon. I expect them to grab themselves a cup of coffee from Timmy’s and eagerly gulp down their cup down to roll up the rim to win. I read in an article recently, I forget which one, that this contest can have some people buy up to 10 cups of coffee, hot chocolate, etc. in a single day. If you can recall, were there any of the contest cups at the park where you worked?
    As for meeting up with people at a Timmy’s. Their hours of operation are convenient, with many having their store open until at least 12 and their drive thru operating all night. As you said, there are plenty of them around. So finding a half-way point between you and your friends is easy. And because there are so many of them, a lot of environmental friendly people will walk. Plus, if it is a last minute thing, you just need to grab a dollar and you have something to do for the next hour or so.
    Of course you ask why can’t you make it at your house? If I’m meeting up with someone I don’t really know, I doubt I’m going to invite them to my house to have a cup of coffee. They will undoubtedly ask the question, “Why don’t we just meet up at Timmy’s?” This allows you to be in a no pressure situation if you are meeting up with someone for a ‘date’. There is no couch, bed, lazy boy, or whatever else people are using these days as places to do the deed on. Inviting someone back to your place for coffee is a big deal. You don’t do it on the first ‘date’.
    So as with everything, there is always a pro and a con. I’m glad you have a found an alternate to the Timmy’s craze. I, on the other hand, will continue waiting in the long line for my hot chocolate in the unenvironmental cup. Cheers

    Ash

    March 21, 2009 at 6:22 am


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