Scourge and Transparency

The Rise and Fall of Advanced Social Journalism during the Early Twenty-First Century

Everyone who bought Bud Light Lime this weekend has wasted his or her money and is now dumber for having drank it

with 26 comments

It has come to my rather naïvely surprised attention that all the Liquor Stores and Beer Stores in the Greater Hamilton Area sold out of the new-to-Canada Bud Light Lime this past weekend. Wow, that is quite impressive, especially considering the beer is $12.25 for a six-pack and OVER $40 dollars for a two-four. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that it probably wasn’t the taste or a unique advertising campaign that led to the new beer’s smash hit sales. It is this blogger’s educated opinion that most of you bought the aforementioned brew out of complete novelty appeal and nothing more what-so-ever. The beer is new and so it appears to the non-thinking human being to be something different and unique. This, in turn, leads product zombies to furnish the economy by buying a beer that is probably not much better than anything else on the Liquor/Beer Store menu and is obviously much more expensive than many other decent beverages that are fully capable of getting you equally as intoxicated. This Bud Light Lime fiasco is just but an example of the mass stupidity that consumers willingly contribute to on a day-to-day basis. It has been going on since time immemorial. Just ask the guy who thought to bottle water and sell it on the open market.

A lot of you are probably either thinking or going to comment: “Shane, I bought Bud Light Lime this weekend. It was really good and I got a six-pack, so I only spent like twelve bucks.” My response to that is – shame on you. First off, spending over $12 on a six-pack is bullshit expensive. I treated myself this weekend and spend $10.50 on six CANS (there is little more beer in cans actually) of Busch Light and had the time of my fucking life. And if we are going to talk about taste I’ll take the Pepsi Challenge to that Bud Light novelty shit and I’ll bet my post-secondary education that it isn’t worth the over $13 in price it cost to a buy a two-four of Lakeport’s Brava with a fucking lime in it. And I know Brava is scraping the bottom of the barrel but that is besides the point because for decades people have already been drinking Bud Light Lime before it was even created and sold in stores – it’s called fucking Corona! You know that light-tasting thin beer with the lime wedge in it that people have been drinking at bars and the cottage for decades? It is a Mexican beer known as Corona, that I guarun-fucking-tee taste very similar to Bud Light Lime.

Also, if I may…even if you truly, absolutely, somehow convince yourself that Bud Light Lime is actually your preference and you honestly enjoy it more than most beers; it is suffice to say that if you drink more than a six-pack who gives a shit what it tastes like? I love to savor Stella Artois and Heineken but who can afford that shit? We all know that after six or seven drinks you would ingest rainwater with diet ginger ale if it got you buzzed. I gave up on buying anything outside of discount beers years ago. And I assume most of the people that invaded the LCs and Beer Stores this weekend to pick up BLL were probably around the age where they would have student debt and very little income. But you all made the conscious decision to be duped by the mega-corporations and their advertising campaign and spend your hard-earned and much-needed money on a bottle and not a beer.

Of course this isn’t the first time people have bought things to follow a trend and it surely won’t be the last. I roll my eyes when I see anyone with a bottle of Smirnoff vodka. Why is Smirnoff so popular? In less you’re James Bond, vodka is more or less vodka. Now, I’m not 007 but I like to think I know a little bit about liquor. And I am going to let you all in on a little secret: you know that whole wall of relatively equally priced vodka brands in the liquor store? (whispering) They all taste pretty much the same…and if you drink enough of any brand of vodka you’ll fuck or fight anything that moves.

My message to those of you that bought or were thinking of buying something because of what is on the label or how popular it is, think this: is there something cheaper and is there similar products? We live in a liberal capitalist democracy and this humble blogger still believes we have the freedom of choice.

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Written by shanedantimo

June 7, 2009 at 7:03 pm

26 Responses

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  1. Relax bud..

    James

    June 17, 2009 at 12:31 am

  2. who is this guy….? Getting mad at people for liking different beer than he does? Maybe you should stop wasting your time writing garbage like this and get a better job so that you aren’t stuck drinking Brava all the time. You obviously haven’t tasted it if you’re going to “guaran-fucking-tee” that it tastes the same as Corona – so you’re making an uneducated decision and disparaging others for purchasing something that you disagree with, even though you’ve never tried it?

    Joe

    June 17, 2009 at 11:30 pm

  3. What a fucking queerbait, you put that much time into chirping people for drinking a good beer? Get a life pal.
    Who cares if they spend more money, id pay for quality over quantity anytime.

    Harper

    June 19, 2009 at 9:01 pm

  4. “Queerbait”? “Chirping”? Clearly the above poster is exactly the type of “dude” Bug Light Lime’s advertising is targeting…

    Anon

    June 20, 2009 at 11:27 pm

  5. ” love to savor Stella Artois and Heineken but who can afford that shit?” People with jobs jackass.

    Jim

    June 21, 2009 at 3:38 am

  6. Sounds to me like you haven’t tried BLL, maybe you should. It’s somewhat of an orgasm in your mouth, you should know what that’s like. You drink discount beers because you can’t afford the good stuff. Don’t tell me you drink it for the taste. People didn’t buy Bud Light Lime for the advertising and appeal, they bought it for the God damn taste. I haven’t seen one commercial for it, even if I did, I don’t give two shits what the message is. It’s a great tasting beer. Try it and maybe you’ll stop bitchy you whiny indie fag.

    Jack

    July 4, 2009 at 12:51 am

  7. I didn’t give a shit about BLL until I put my Stella down and asked my friend for a quick sip. Expecting Corona I ended up being surprised how refreshing and tasty the BLL was.

    Since then, I’ve longed for my own bottle but haven’t been able to find any anywhere.

    I come online to find some info and I come across this meathead’s article.

    Hey writer, you’re a dick. I have a job, I have money, and I have taste. I also like BLL.

    I encourage you to reply. Although some advice; your anger for the masses and fairly rudimentary wit might make “you” feel better but it won’t make you right.

    Enjoy puffing cocks.

    Sincerely,
    Dugg Stiles

    Anonymous

    July 6, 2009 at 8:07 pm

  8. Anon said this:

    “Queerbait”? “Chirping”? Clearly the above poster is exactly the type of “dude” Bug Light Lime’s advertising is targeting…”

    Stick to starbucks, flamer

    No so anonymous Dugg Stiles

    July 6, 2009 at 8:10 pm

  9. Oh and don’t call yourself a “humble blogger” when you are clearly not. I love how these writers think they are uber-educated and above everyone else.

    Your opinion means nothing as does your existence. Do us a favour and shut the fuck up, GOOF.

    Your mother

    July 6, 2009 at 8:12 pm

  10. you people think too much. you wrote a thousand word essay on fuckin’ nothing.
    the shit tastes good dude..end of story. while you wrote about “mega corporations” and other edu-babble trying to sound like you’re smart… i downed a case of the some of the most refreshing summer beer I’ve ever had.

    hallzy

    July 7, 2009 at 5:34 am

  11. goof.

    hallzy

    July 7, 2009 at 5:36 am

  12. writer is totally a goof

    Hallzy Fan

    July 7, 2009 at 6:13 pm

  13. You might want to have someone proofread any future blog entries that you create; as a case in point, the second last sentence in the first paragraph should make reference to ‘time immemorial’ not ‘time and memorial’.

    Perhaps you have been secretly drinking Bud Light Lime, and it has possibly made you ‘dumber’? Either way, you are a shitstain, and I will be invoicing you for a small dollar amount for the few minutes I spent reading this waste.

    Chinook

    July 10, 2009 at 2:28 am

  14. I LOVE reading shit like this and seeing all you brain dead monkey’s get riled up.It’s so funny to see how many people get all defensive when they feel their shallow consumerist existence being threatened in the slightest way.How funny it is to see how you all defend something so trivial and ridiculous.Your lives are so EMPTY.You all talk about how the writer is stupid and wrote bullshit,while you defend nothing and bullshit at the same time.I can’t wait to see all of you herded up like the cattle you are and shipped off to the labor camps that are being prepared for you.

    no one cares

    July 14, 2009 at 5:13 am

  15. ^ shitstain 🙂

    piss off

    July 17, 2009 at 12:50 am

  16. puff a dick faggot

    no one cares is a goof

    July 25, 2009 at 4:19 pm

  17. I could not agree more.

    The first time i seen the advertisement I laughed.

    Then after hearing all of the hype, and seeing littered BLL caps on the ground, I laughed even more.

    For almost the price of a BLL six pack, you can get a 12 pack of PBR, or other discount beers that are tried and true drinkable beers.

    My prediction is that BLL will be short lived like every other mass marketed subpar products sold to subpar brains. You may be jobless, house in forclosure, neck deep in bills, but im sure that limetaste will keep you content with life.

    ryan

    September 7, 2009 at 12:47 am

  18. “My prediction is that BLL will be short lived like every other mass marketed subpar products sold to subpar brains.”

    The demand for BLL is enormous, and it’s not subpar, it’s delicious. I predict that you’re prediction is retarded.

    tyson

    October 1, 2009 at 6:42 am

  19. My prediction is that you will be assfucked, and not like it.

    piss off

    December 19, 2009 at 2:17 am

  20. 1. It’s “time immemorial”. What would time and memorial mean?

    2. “I like to think I know a little bit about liquor” ; you don’t. You drink light beer and can’t taste the difference between vodka’s. Zybrowka tastes utterly different to grey goose which is utterly different to SKYY.

    I predict you are correct that Bud Light Lime tasted like piss. But no one will listen to your opinion on alcohol if you are this retarded about the subject.

    Jim

    February 16, 2010 at 2:28 pm

  21. 1) you know what i meant by and time & memorial – you just answered it!

    2) i know more about liquor than anyone that bought bud light lime that weekend – and when did i say i only drink light beer?

    3) i think writing time immemorial as “time and memorial” does not qualify me as retarded on the subject of booze

    shanedantimo

    March 4, 2010 at 5:48 pm

  22. so fuck fuck, i won’t like getting assfucked BUT I do love puffing poles??? what kind of homosexual do you take me for?

    shanedantimo

    March 4, 2010 at 5:49 pm

  23. yes bud light lime is shit, but you can get a tall can of Stella for like $3 so who cant afford that?? hell i am drinking it with lime right now hahaha

    stellaaaaaa

    August 10, 2010 at 4:31 am

  24. well everybody before you go out and buy your beer tonight ask the author of this letter if its okay with him, he may want you to go spend 3.50 on a six pack of the shittiest beer known to man

    JAred

    September 18, 2010 at 10:02 pm

  25. bitch

    JAred

    September 18, 2010 at 10:06 pm

  26. i like your email address

    shanedantimo

    September 24, 2010 at 9:53 pm


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