Scourge and Transparency

The Rise and Fall of Advanced Social Journalism during the Early Twenty-First Century

Archive for December 2009

Trying something new

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This time around I’m going to do a series of mini-blogs – short commentary, or as I like to call them “min-logs” – as one post.

The Gays

First and for most: homosexuality.  You know I love the gays and love to write about them fucking and being gay but I’ve got a bone to pick with them (pun deliberately intended). I’ve stated before that I don’t understand why so many regular mid-aged suburbanites are offended by homosexuality – they likely don’t encounter blatantly faggish circumstances during their daily lives unless they seek it out. However if one lives near a downtown or inner city area they’re likely to be close to a gay bookstore or stag shop. (As a side note: why are there so many gay bookstores? What are they reading? Is it strictly gay literature that is banned by regular bookstores or are gay people by nature just avid readers?) Anyway back to my original point: a lot of gay shops have very graphic depictions of sex as well as displays of various sexual apparatuses whether they be dildos, vibrators or simple anal beads. Here’s what I have problem with: a lot of people may be walking their kids down these busy, commercial, pedestrian areas. I don’t think it’s appropriate to display in a storefront window a large rubber shaft that graphically resembles an erect circumcised penis (veins in all) in an area where families frequent. To be fair it’s not just homo-related stores that do this, a lot of regular stag shops display this kind of material as well. I’m not saying stores need to be censored, but use your common sense and don’t display a man’s bare shaved ass right next to a Zellers.

Shit Movies

Now let us move on to vocabulary, particularly people’s use of wording to describe movies they like. I don’t understand this new obsession with vampires but I can assure all of you, without ever having seen, read or inquired anything to do with Twilight that those movies are nothing more that high-budget b-flicks. Granted they make a lot of money and they have a huge following, but that does not mean they are “great” movies or have “fantastic” stories. I am an out-of-the-closet Stars Wars fanatic and that series, particularly the prequels, are incredibly cheesy, unrealistic and ridiculous. That doesn’t mean I any less enjoy them, however, I would never describe Revenge of the Sith as “fantastic” or “amazing” and certainly not “great.” High budget sci-fi action movies are usually very cool but nothing incredibly artful or cinematic. How low are someone’s standards when they describe a movie that has 21 percent on rotten tomatoes as “really good?” What makes it good? That there is more of a story and better visual effects than a 2-minute viral video? For fans of cheesy big budget movies just tell it like it is: you like the movie because there’s lots of explosions and you want to have intercourse with the lead actor – that’s fine, I accept that and we’ve all sat through horrible movies because we’ve been promised nudity and violence. Open up your vocabulary and admit to being aroused easily.

Meeting Women

Finally we prove fraudulent the theory that nice guys finish last. Nice guys actually do quite well. Douche bags ironically are also lucky. If you’re ever trying to mack a girl she is 9 times out of 10 with the biggest fucking asshole/loser you’ve ever met. But every once in a while you’ll like a girl who has a bf and when you meet this guy you think: “that’s a fine catch, I’m a bit more of a prick than this guy, he’s not as selfish and I can’t compete with him.” You see, middle of the road, regular, semi-selfish, not overly nice, but not a complete asshole, guys like me have no chance. Our egos aren’t big enough to be like those dicks that get laid way too much and we’re much more selfish than those nice guys who even heterosexual men would marry. A further critique on this subject I would make is when girls turn you down they always want to let you off soft by saying something like “you’re a great guy.” When she says this you’re thinking in your head: “so are we going to fuck then? Because if not then this nice guy shit isn’t working for me.” Also she might say something along the lines of “I like you as a friend.” What the fuck does that mean? Do I go to bars and clubs picking up friends? Do I get friends drunk and take them back to my place to “talk”? Friends?!! I have friends! I don’t even like someone of them! And you know what? You can’t break up with friends. Can’t have sex with them either – kind of lose-lose. How about we just remain people who hopefully will never speak again and you go with Mr. Douche Bag and I’ll slip a friend a roofie?

Written by shanedantimo

December 31, 2009 at 7:54 am