Scourge and Transparency

The Rise and Fall of Advanced Social Journalism during the Early Twenty-First Century

Archive for February 2010

Pornography: a follow up to the Masturbation Blog

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Are you ever doing your thing, like right before you go bed, to end the day of with a climax, and you can’t really make up on your mind on what pornography clip to ejaculate over? You might start getting off to whatever happens to be under the “being watched now” or “the most recent” categories on the homepage of keeeez or youporn but then you start get picky because you know there is a plethora of porn at your finger and palm tips. After all, this is your time – you’re masturbating. The obvious choice is to check out the “top rated” or “most watched” tabs that most porn sites conveniently provide. 9 times out of 10 those two will be very similar but you’ve got to be careful on what you decide to click on. Just because a video might be popular doesn’t mean it’s the right video for you. In fact videos that seem to often make it to the top tier of most watched clips on any given porn site aren’t in fact preferable for any normal heterosexual young to middle aged male for masturbation consumption. For some reason a lot of really gross shit gets high ratings and lots of clicks. There are videos that always seem to be watched enough to not just be “most watched today” or “this week” but frequently “all time most watched” clips that are of old ladies, and men with huge penises or some kind of weird shit involving food and torture. Who’s watching this shit? This isn’t for jerking off! And who are these assholes that give videos featuring pregnant ladies 5 stars? The rating system on porn sites is helpful to the user but don’t fuck with it by giving good ratings to porn that features a woman with a 7-month fetus in her body or uses some kind of fruit or vegetable to stimulate or clitoris – that’s not good, that’s bad pornography.

Another feature of most modern day porn sites that can be very helpful is the “categories” tab. This is where porn uploaders can classify their smut as either, blow job, amateur, lesbian, MILF, Asian etc etc. However, many uploaders don’t always play by the rules. They often categorize amateur as anything that isn’t the professional pornography that was so popular in the masturbating days of yesteryear prior to the advent of the worldwide web and its’ explosion of vulgar capabilities.  Because people aren’t more prudent when they post porn it’s almost as if the majority of porn is now classified under the amateur umbrella. Only the real ‘couples filming themselves’ stuff is real, true, amateur pornography. And who are these people taping themselves having sex so often? Ladies, to let you in on a little secret here: a lot of your ex boyfriends are posting those Valentines Days videos on the web for the whole world to masturbate to and it’s FANTASTIC.

– as a side note: I can imagine a lot of women reading this blog and thinking: “I had no idea that these porn sites were so well organized and vast” –

Going back to this convention of everything being classified as amateur. What’s with this obsession in pornography of making it seem as if it’s real even if it is obviously not? It’s like there’s these guys out there that are auditioning girls they find off the street to do porn all the time. And maybe it’s partially real, but it doesn’t fully matter – just show the fucking! You don’t have to pretend like you just met this girl (as if that could happen in real life or to any of the guys looking at porn sites at 1am). And for some reason the girl always has to pretend like she’s 18 – what the fuck is that about? A woman could be equally as hot ten years after her legal 18th birthday. It’s clear that’s she’s experienced in the sexual arena whether she’s a teenager or not – she’s aggressively performing fellatio on a man she supposedly only met 30 minutes ago. Who cares if she’s 18 or not?! Just give me sex, I don’t care about all this bullshit concerning how old she’s pretending to be or if she’s ever had anal sex. Get to the in-out, in-out.  Besides these 30-minute streams take too long to load up. Who’s masturbating for 30 minutes anyways? No video should be longer than 3 and half minutes on a good night.

Another couple things I don’t get about what’s popular in porn is the obsession with women in glasses – is this supposed to be like your fucking a librarian or your teacher? She’s wearing glasses when she’s having sex – who the fuck does that? Is it so she can clearly see your little dick? Again, weird shit that apparently a lot men are watching.

That’s all I got right now. I hope you enjoyed my blog on pornography and I know I got you thinking about hardcore fucking. Happy Masturbating.