Scourge and Transparency

The Rise and Fall of Advanced Social Journalism during the Early Twenty-First Century

Archive for September 2010

The Social Network

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Do you ever meet these people that say, “I don’t go on facebook that much, I don’t have time for stuff like that,”? Then you may ponder: Are these people actually doing something with their lives? That’s absolute bullshit. No one’s life, besides maybe an actual saint and the President of the United States of America, is interesting enough to set aside at least few hours everyday to do something absolutely meaningless.

What these people are doing when they say this is lying. And they are not telling the truth for either or both of two reasons. First being you may have contacted them via the Internet and they did not respond. This means they do not like you and most us are guilty of telling such lies as to avoid communicating with someone we find annoying. The second reason why someone would pretend that their lives are so exciting and important that they can’t look at photos of people they barely know is because there are insecure about who they are. They want to give the impression or illusion that they actually are too important or busy to social network. This is just sad. This is sadder than the tremendous excitement that I (and I’m sure many of you get) when we see a “friend request” notification.

Don’t you despise when you get a friend request and you can’t place how you know this person for the life of you? Or it’s some jackass from high school you never talked to? (Why can’t it be a hot broad?! That wants to have sex with ME?!!) But we’ll ad them anyway…got to keep that friend-list high.

And are you ever away from your computer for a few days and when you expect to check facebook there will be like 5 notifications of varying importance and then when you login it’s your one friend calling you a “fag (or some other homophobic term)”? That’s when you know your life is pathetic. But so many of us are all in this pathetic, lonely, social networking boat that is sinking into the abyss of insecurity and anti-social behavior.

One more thing about facebook, and I think I’ve said this before: if you’re one of those people whose accounts I see over your shoulder at school or elsewhere and you have like 20 different requests that you’ve been ignoring for months – I’m coming after you! I’m hitting those goddamn requests! Some of us need and want that shit to get us up in the morning. And, almost more importantly, those notifications you so arrogantly chose to ignore could be immature friends sending quotes from funny movies, or possibly tags of horrible drunk photos of yourself that you’d never want to see. This shit is your life.

The point is: check facebook, you have nothing better to do, write on my wall, write on other people’s walls because it is filling that suicidal void in our lives and besides masturbation gives the world-wide-web a purpose

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Written by shanedantimo

September 24, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Top Ten Most Ridiculous Aspects of University

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10) Putting Money on Student ID Cards: What the fuck is the point of this shit? Has anyone on campus heard of cash, credit or debit? Why would I need to move money onto my student card if I already have three other forms of currency? Some places on campus don’t even accept anything but student cards and cash. Why? Are they separate from the entire economic universe around them? I guess some students have mommy or daddy put money on their cards. That will teach them how to grow up real quick.

9) The Price of School Related Shit/Books: A coffee mug with your university’s name on it: 10$ – that’s a fair price. It’s plastic and made in China. You can afford it on a student’s budget. How about 75$ for a paperback book that you’re required to read 20 pages from and you’ll only do 5 and still get a B? Nothing wrong with that at all. No regulation needed. Professors and publication companies gain very little from this mega rip off.

8 ) Protests: If you’re in university you’ve got to protest every goddamn crack in the sidewalk. If the school tells you that you have to shit in a toilet pick up a sign that says, “Poo Freedom Now!” Everyone’s a fucking anarchist in Uni. Little do they know that they bend over and take it before they’re able pay for Bristol board and wood made from cut down trees in the rain forest.

7) School Spirit: who really gives a shit?

6) Emailing Profs and TAs: Good luck ever getting a response. Professors and Teaching Assistants have the only occupation in the Western World where they make their email addresses known and have absolutely no obligation to reply. Of course they have “other responsibilities.” I know when a customer asks me a question at my minimum wage job I tell them “I have studying to do – I can’t be bothered to help you even though I’m being paid to do so”

5) Left-Wing Bias: The war is over, the bums lost! Why is it that every social science teacher is a Marxist, Neo-Marxist, Socialist or whatever they’re calling their failed ideology these days? Profs get paid, right? And they buy shit too? OK then fuck off.

4) Marking: Here is how they mark a paper/exam in a social science/humanities class – they have a giant fucking wheel with the letters “A” to “F” labeled around the circumference and they spin it. In all honesty there is nothing in my four semesters at university to show that TAs and Profs mark with any formal direction what so ever. It is completely arbitrary.

3) Citation: Who invented this stupid shit? You can’t just write the name of the book and author, it has to be done a certain way. And of course it’s different for every department and every professor because apparently a PhD doesn’t allow you the intellect to understand Chicago style if you’re a Poli Sci Prof. Is a TA going to have a fucking seizure if the name of the author is in italics instead of the journal name?

2) Students Asking Unnecessary Questions: Put down your fucking hand. “When is something due?” If you didn’t ask that no one would ever know. This shit is not posted anywhere. And then there’s those who actually enjoy what they’re learning – you shut up too. Don’t make the lecture any longer to inquire about some intellectual masturbation.

1) Reading and Writing: This is all we goddamn do at university. Reading books and writing essays, read/write/read/write/read/write…Holy fucking shit every student that graduates is going to walk into their first real job interview and be asked, “what are you experienced at?” and all they can say is, “I can read AND write and do absolutely nothing else.” What job description is there that says, “we’re going to pay you for forty hours a week to come up with five ten pages essays on bullshit every few months”? All this drivel  is just words rapped around quotations in order to make the minimum number of pages required. However as long as we use the right citation, criticize the establishment, have a left-wing bias and get in touch with the TA/Prof in an non-electronic format they might actually pull something higher than a C+ out of the marking lottery used by the ivory tower to “educate” the masses.

Written by shanedantimo

September 10, 2010 at 5:37 pm