Scourge and Transparency

The Rise and Fall of Advanced Social Journalism during the Early Twenty-First Century

The Social Network

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Do you ever meet these people that say, “I don’t go on facebook that much, I don’t have time for stuff like that,”? Then you may ponder: Are these people actually doing something with their lives? That’s absolute bullshit. No one’s life, besides maybe an actual saint and the President of the United States of America, is interesting enough to set aside at least few hours everyday to do something absolutely meaningless.

What these people are doing when they say this is lying. And they are not telling the truth for either or both of two reasons. First being you may have contacted them via the Internet and they did not respond. This means they do not like you and most us are guilty of telling such lies as to avoid communicating with someone we find annoying. The second reason why someone would pretend that their lives are so exciting and important that they can’t look at photos of people they barely know is because there are insecure about who they are. They want to give the impression or illusion that they actually are too important or busy to social network. This is just sad. This is sadder than the tremendous excitement that I (and I’m sure many of you get) when we see a “friend request” notification.

Don’t you despise when you get a friend request and you can’t place how you know this person for the life of you? Or it’s some jackass from high school you never talked to? (Why can’t it be a hot broad?! That wants to have sex with ME?!!) But we’ll ad them anyway…got to keep that friend-list high.

And are you ever away from your computer for a few days and when you expect to check facebook there will be like 5 notifications of varying importance and then when you login it’s your one friend calling you a “fag (or some other homophobic term)”? That’s when you know your life is pathetic. But so many of us are all in this pathetic, lonely, social networking boat that is sinking into the abyss of insecurity and anti-social behavior.

One more thing about facebook, and I think I’ve said this before: if you’re one of those people whose accounts I see over your shoulder at school or elsewhere and you have like 20 different requests that you’ve been ignoring for months – I’m coming after you! I’m hitting those goddamn requests! Some of us need and want that shit to get us up in the morning. And, almost more importantly, those notifications you so arrogantly chose to ignore could be immature friends sending quotes from funny movies, or possibly tags of horrible drunk photos of yourself that you’d never want to see. This shit is your life.

The point is: check facebook, you have nothing better to do, write on my wall, write on other people’s walls because it is filling that suicidal void in our lives and besides masturbation gives the world-wide-web a purpose

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Written by shanedantimo

September 24, 2010 at 5:01 pm

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