Scourge and Transparency

The Rise and Fall of Advanced Social Journalism during the Early Twenty-First Century

“I Don’t Have A Log”: A Christmas Blog Post

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They say the Saturday before Christmas is the second busiest day of the season but I didn’t give a fuck about that. I was concerned with this spirit or true meaning. I had captured it before and wanted it to return. There is a reason why Byng Crosby, Elvis Presley and so many others dreamed of a White Christmas. This is the only time of the year when snow is truly enjoyable by all – actually craved. But do to the supposed myth of global warming there’d been hardly anything white yet and probably only slush to come in Southern Ontario this winter. If the spirit can’t be found in the weather then one looks toward music (carols) or movies. But well these all-familiar mediums brought cheer they couldn’t bring me to the nostalgic obsession I had had in the previous years.

When you’re a kid Christmas is truly magical. You want the presents and the days off school are fantastic. Time is slower when you’re younger so the weeks of holiday from the redundancy of public education feel like a wonderful eternity. This is juxtaposed with the memory of winter in the early 90s having snow during the late fall and early winter. As an adult this adolescent euphoria unfortunately fades. However a kindling of this spirit always remains. The practising of the holiday traditions unique to one’s own family seems to make Christmas right. And there lays the paradox of the Yuletide. It would not be the celebration of Christ’s birth if you didn’t flip out vulgarly and angrily at atleast several family members over the period of Christmas Eve to News Years day. Furthermore, in an ironic way it wouldn’t be the holidays if you weren’t incredibly piss drunk and pissed off at a kin over something as trifling as gift wrapping.

Coming back home to the reluctantly enjoyable family experience is a for sure way of putting you in the Christmas spirit. However this year (the first in four) I had already been here for several months. The spirit had not even crept up on me and I could not quite grasp it despite attempts. But then on the eve of the Christmas’s eve eve I had been stuffing myself full of food and cookies provided for us proletariat as a meagre gift by our Scrooge-ist bosses to make them vainly feel Tiny Tim had been saved.  At the same time I had snuck in some cheap wine and sipped it on my very long bus ride home in the late hours.  Someone recently had told me of their preference for Harry Bellefonte Christmas songs for his emphasis on quietness and melancholy. As I walked past the city hall tree with a can of wine in hand, listening to “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem” it hit me! Of course it is so corny and prototypical – it has to be! The Christmas spirit isn’t something abstract and it’s so vast that there’s always something new yet traditional to the experience.

Commercialism, alcoholism, family feuds, religious bigotry, and even now environmentalism, all become obvious in their most wonderful and positive glory during the holiday season and a few weeks a year is not close to enough to experience what Jesus, Santa, Shopping Malls, Eggnog and Malcoulay Culkin has to offer – there’s always something new, yet typical, to enjoy!

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Written by shanedantimo

December 23, 2012 at 6:44 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Why I’m Throwing My Support Behind The New Democrats

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Two years ago I would never have even thought of voting for a party this far on the left. Shit: up to two weeks ago it hadn’t even crossed my mind that a party who call themselves “new” even though they’ve been active for 40-plus years would get my X on the ballot. This is an election no one gave a shit about till polls showed the NDP in second place. I’ll admit it: I’m bandwagoning – but not without good reason. There are many aspects of a voter’s decision – pragmatism, selfishness, idealism, passivity, admiration and superficiality – all should, and have been, considered.

Let us start by laying out the options in this campaign. The Conservatives under Stephen Harper have managed to stabilize the economy, work to a capable degree with other parties in a minority government and not veer as far to the to the right as some on the left would like you to believe. This is why they got my vote in the last election – that right, I voted Tory in ’08. I have often argued in recent times against ethics and principles steering one’s views in such a dirty game as politics. However the second prorogation of parliament by Harper was a clear and unequivocal abuse of power. There is no use in arguing this point to the contrary. If legislative debate can be suspended for excessive periods of the time by the executive than representative democracy is no longer legally and/or actually respected in this country. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a pragmatist – the first prorogation, to avoid a coalition attempt, was for only 5 days but when the Prime Minister shuts down the government for half a session of parliament it indicates his disregard for the purposes of even voting for members of parliament in the first place. Sure, the country did not go to shit when Harper breached explicit ethical boundaries, but when authoritarianism veers its ugly head it always starts out on a good note.

Then we move to the government- (who thinks they are) –in-waiting. The Liberals are a party that quickly and eagerly overthrew the one major leader in probably all Western democracy that put environmentalism so high on the agenda. And whom do they replace him with? Someone who spent a quarter of a century outside the country in the ivory tower before returning and demanding to be Prime Minister. I truly believe Canada for a long time has been able to produce its’ own leaders and does not need to educate and train them abroad. I tip my hat to the Tories for attacking the Liberals on this point – it works. The fact that when Ignatieff’s nationalism became an issue the professor immediately wrote a book titled “True Patriot Love” only showcases his blatant shallowness.

I’d like to point out that as well as principles, superficiality for the first in this campaign has become an issue for me. Michael Ignatieff literally represents in my opinion, next to only cleaning a dirty vagina, what a douche bag truly is. Everything I loathe about intelligentsia is personified in this Anglo-American-Canadian. He just looks like the kind of professor that would give you a C- on a paper for no apparent reason except his elitism. And this is what the Liberals have campaigned on – Ignatieff’s goddamn image! They have dug they’re own grave.

On the other hand the NDP have run a quite admirable campaign. Attacking the left was on obvious and practical way to gain seats – it will work. The real wonder is the apparent success in Quebec. After winning a seat in the province for only the second time the New Democrats have gone after the Liberals hard in French Canada. They are taking a page out of the Tory book from the ’06 election except on the other side of the political spectrum. And for too long left-wing Quebeckers have only been given a meager choice between either one separatist party or one federalist party.  Also, in the last election I thought it was plainly ineffectual for Layton to be campaigning for Prime Minister – but by god it is paying off now.  Furthermore, if anyone from Newfoundland to BC was bored out of their mind on April 12th they may have caught part of the English leaders debate and had to notice Layton’s success in all the above points. I mean, for god’s sake, show up for work “Iggy!” Typical fucking professor canceling class without notice! Layton’s elder statesman appearance has also feasibly helped boost the respectability of his leadership.

The one leader who has arguably and ironically been favoured for almost the past decade is Duceppe. You’ve got to hand it to someone who truly believes in the annulment of a constitution yet also respects and understands all its institutions and procedures so well. I’ll honestly be sad to see him go – witch is likely even if he retains his seat but the Bloc loses as bad as the polls indicate – he’s an individual with clear ideals that is willing to compromise for step-by-step gains. He has provided some bluntness and charisma that you don’t see much from federal leaders. The attacks by Conservatives accusing the Bloc of “wanting to break up Canada” can only hurt the Tories in the province.

This campaign and election could have been typically boring-as-shit but it could be taking a turn no one saw coming.  A “New” party new again. My major regret in voting for the Old Social Democrats is leaving the Greens out to dry. For the past two years I would have voted for the environmentalist party on any occasion. They deserve representation and they would shake up this static political environment we have here in Canada. However a NDP opposition would be even more substantial – and, quite frankly, even more likely. Previously I had not voted strategically. In the last two federal elections I voted for a Liberal and a Conservative respectively – both losers. (I’ll insert another admission of guilt to being a voting-whore for now having cast ballots across the political spectrum) And I have never felt my vote was “wasted.” It was simply a silent declaration of what I wanted and it took no more effort what-so-ever than a 5-minute walk and a check on a ballot. However, this time it’s too close to call in Hamilton Mountain. The Liberals are running a “star” candidate and NDP could go down. I may make the smallest difference this election, finally.

For no better reason a social democrat government, or at the very least an official opposition, would ideally help a somewhat poor post secondary student like myself. And if anyone of you reading this wanted to disregard any of the further elaboration or explanation I have provided above and vote for a party based on reasoning of equal selfishness I would accept that as an absolutely appropriate political decision.

Written by shanedantimo

May 2, 2011 at 2:22 am

Contemporary Musical Consumption

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I somewhat recently heard on The Charlie Rose Show Jann Wenner, the editor of Rolling Stone magazine, state “we have seen the return of the Single.” Nothing could be closer to inaccurate. An actual Single is a unit you purchase that contains an A-side AND B-sides. Purchasing one .mp3 for 99 cents is not buying a Single; it’s getting ripped off.

You would have to be living under a rock in Batswana to be unaware that music can be downloaded quickly, easily and almost limitlessly via the pirated media sphere of the web.  What is unfortunate is not that the physicality of musical recording has been dead and buried for the last few years but that the consumption of composed sound has become incredibly personalized. Instead of downloading an entire album and listening to it from beginning to end, consumers instead take songs from several different albums or sources and create their own individualized messy catalogs of tracks. This is where Wenner got it wrong – we haven’t seen the return of the Single, we are witnessing the time of the Playlist!

If there are still any naively motivated moral objectors to illegal downloading left on this planet the shuffling and personalized arbitrary re-organizing of musical works of art should be even more distressing to them. Not only are artists and their estates having their intellectual property pirated, those compositions are not even being listened to as they were intended to be. Playing “Hey Jude” by the Beatles back-to-back with “Fucking Perfect” by Pink is like hanging Manet’s Olympia over top a TV airing The Real Housewives of Atlanta.

I cannot begin to fathom why someone who is justifiably in love with a classic song would not want to know where it came from and where it was going. This attitude has even distorted colloquial discourse. People these days often say “I like this band,” or “I am a fan of this singer,” (notice the facebook terms). But you can’t truly appreciate something if you know very little about it. You’re not a fan of a band if you’ve only heard a few of their songs, thus what you really like is the track – not the artist.

The vast amount of artistic talent that is available on the Internet that only ten years ago would have been incredibly difficult and costly to ingest is an astonishing and wonderful event. However the consuming public’s artistic ignorance and the journalistic avoidance of this medium’s continually evolving capabilities is terribly vexing at best or cultural eroding at worst.

 

 

The Journey Into The Abyss

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It began in the downtown Hamilton bus station. My bags were packed, my boots tied tight and I took back a sample bottle of Tequila on my way to T-O. My mother had bought me several munchie foods, that I’d hope would last me west through Canada, and she also generously provided me with a 60 oz bottle of Alberta distilled Vodka with two sample shooter bottles of Tequila. I arrived at the Greyhound Toronto a couple hours before departure and when trying to upgrade my bus pass I was sucked into the biggest piece of confusing jargon and shit that would morph into a monster that attempted to devoir my trip mentality through to Saskatchewan. They said my pass could not be upgraded, but then, reneged and told me I could upgrade once I arrived in Winnipeg. The journey to this fair city would be long and dull with no apparent end in site. Like a trip to the cottage but seven times longer on a crowded bus with strangers and no lake to swim in when you get there. I noticed a typical crazy person at the bus station in Toronto while I was waiting. She wasn’t as nuts as the young man I had seen months earlier attempt suicide by drunkenly placing himself in the middle of Bay Street. This old lady was the “babbling-upset” type. She seemed like she probably owned a lot of cats and had some beefs with Jesus. When I almost fatally realized she would actually be traveling out of a metropolitan city (an area that seems to contain these types of insane degenerates) on the very bus I was taking I smiled at a most-likely lesbian that was also snickering at the crazy lady who was now repeating the words “God is cruel, God is so cruel to me.” This homosexual young girl would then become the infatuation of the first lag of my trip. Every long journey or unnecessarily boring period of time with the same people allows the young male mind to rank, categorize and finally fantasize about the attractive to moderately tolerable women around himself. She found it humorous that the lady walking past us was out of her mind and, of course, so did I. After all, if we could not laugh at people with worse problems than ourselves what would be the purpose of going on?

Written by shanedantimo

January 7, 2011 at 3:54 am

Happy Holidays aka Go Fuck Yourself

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“Happy Holidays” is one of the most derogatory, offensive, racist, phrases I have ever heard and I am appalled at its regular use in this country and at this time of year. This is a Christian country. It says nothing in the constitution about secularism, multiculturalism, democracy or tolerance. If I am at work I should not be told what to do and say. For the first time in the history of Christianity the Godliness of this religious season is waning.

The people who founded this great nation of ours were Christians. They came here (some with slaves), allowed white male landowners to vote and accepted bribes – all in Jesus’ name, and that’s what counts. When it came time to write a constitution they made sure that the words multiculturalism, democracy and liberty were absent and that Jesus, Mary and Joseph were abundant.

Everyone and their mother are now being told that they can’t say “Merry Christmas” under any circumstances what so ever. I’ve heard shocking stories of people actually being paid to do and say things while their at work – this goes against the capitalist principles that have created our completely egalitarian and equal society.

Every Christmas season the profits of major companies sky rocket because white people are buying gifts for the poor. And only moderately paid adult foreigners make all those toys because we Christians would not contribute to something that exploits cheap, unhealthy and dangerous labour.

On Christmas morning children awake to find the gifts Jesus of Nazareth and his twelve elf-disciplines have brought from the North Holy Land. They are laid underneath the decorated evergreen coniferous cross of Christ. And after that the majority of the country eagerly and enthusiastically runs off to church – like they do each and every Holy Day.

Thus this is and always will be a Christian country and a Christian holiday…actually what I’ve just explained is complete bullshit. Jesus died two thousand years ago and white Christian males have been beating his dead corpse ever since. The moneylenders are still in the temple and they are there in the ignorant name of God.

 

 

Written by shanedantimo

December 18, 2010 at 6:23 pm

The Beer Commercial

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The basic characteristics of 90 percent of all beer commercials presume that everyone buying the product is socially, politically, intellectually and uniformly retarded. First off and most obvious: a lifestyle is offered that is unattainable, illogical and impossible. The advertisers also assume that women never drink alcohol, especially beer, and therefore are only represented stereotypically in contrast to the douche bag men in these commercials. Thirdly, and most importantly, the creators of these ignorant pieces corporate propaganda figure that for every three slightly-bearded, laid-back, twenty-something year-old white dudes there is one (and no more than one!) anglicized, white-bred, less important black guy.

To reinforce my most evident contention: there is in no way a connection between drinking a certain brand of beer and having intercourse with attractive women. There is, however, a connection between intense intoxication and sexual interaction of various degrees. You may find yourself penetrating a random orifice of some kind if you consume a high level of booze but that does not mean it’s anything to be proud of and/or are able/want to remember the next morning. There are no “Captain’s Moments” or “Bud Rules” to attracting the opposite sex. For god’s sake, a guy gets a girl’s # on a goddamn napkin in a current Budweiser commercial! A napkin? What year is this, 1970? You might as well not worry about the AIDS virus or stagflation if you’re going to regard this commercial as anything less than insulting to your intelligence on primal level.

Even worse than the above is the Coors Light commercials (I’m off Coors). What the fuck is the “Coors Light Mystery Mansion?” I am assuming from the conspicuous  clues I’ve seen it is a brothel with willing prepaid prostitutes sponsored by the Coors company and if it is anything less than that anyone who wins an invite would likely demand fellatio performed upon them forthwith based on the impressions given in the ads.  And Coors’s other big promotion or slogan is that it is somehow “colder” than other beers. How the fuck can it be colder? That doesn’t make sense – they’re all from the flipping fridge! It’s brewed in a colder place? Who gives a shit? Is it a superhero beer incapable of getting below a certain degree centigrade? Shut the fuck up.

Now let’s discuss the social ignorance of major brewing companies. According to most alcohol commercials women are magical little hot fairies that appear when you order a drink at bar. They’re just there for our amusement and they’re all incredibly attractive. If this were true I’d be fucking hammered right now. And of course there is the courtesy black guy. This is the house-negro that smiles when his white friend is able to cleverly impress a girl because of the confidence empowered in him by a certain brand of alcohol. Of course every three white guys has one black friend that dresses in white-people garb and gives us a thumbs up whenever we have sex and he doesn’t. I aspire for a day when companies reach the level of still-ignorant, money-driven political incorrectness when an Asian guy, a brown guy & a guy in wheelchair all appear one-to-four with middle-class adult white males in corporate advertising.

If we are to at all slow down the wholesale of this bullshit, incompetently broadcast, racist, sexist and insulting fantasy world we must simply do the opposite of what these ads want us to do. Please, stop buying their shit. If you think a commercial is stupid don’t put down your semi-hard-earned flow for that subpar product. They’re insulting your intelligence and you willingly and knowingly became a dumber person every time you consume that which you are told to consume.

Urinating in Stalls

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“I’ve always been a stall-man”

–       George Costanza

When confronted with the task of peeing in a public washroom nine times out of ten I will choose to whip my dick out in a private, comfortable stall. I don’t do this because I am a homophobe; I simply don’t want to see another man’s penis and I don’t want another man to see mine. It is an incredibly obvious decision to easily avoid NOT having male genitalia in my purview.

The Showers

I’ve been told that when one showers with completely nude men in a gym or after a game there is certain “etiquette” practiced. Apparently you somehow ignore the multiple hideous members around you and this evidently leads to an absolute heterosexually comfortable environment. I, myself, don’t play sports and thus don’t have the undeniable pleasure of carelessly waving my big thang around the locker room. However, I could somewhat fathom not being as fazed once getting into the habit of it. Yet why to so many straight men is the thought of several women showering a blatant sexual fantasy and males doing the same together not considered in the least bit homoerotic?

Homophobia

Now that I’ve proven any guy that has seen another man naked is a complete and gigantic homosexual I will explain my obvious and staunch heterosexuality. I don’t fear gays, I don’t fear a gay’s dick particularly, but what I do fear is dicks in general. These things are disturbing. I’m dickophobic – a sub-negative attitude towards certain groups in society (men) that precisely allocates my type of personally explicit sexual discrimination.

Insecurity

If you happen to be a dude that often pisses in urinals you’re likely to presume I’m shy or ashamed of my genitals. Of course I am, but that doesn’t mean I’ve never been nude with someone before. I’ve been around the block on a few occasions and those situations were awkward and graphic because we made funny faces and our genitals were exposed.

Penis Size

Of course I have a huge penis so this in no way has anything to with why I use stalls. If anything, I need the extra space to properly maneuver my schlong.

Types of Urinals

There are different types of urinals and some lend themselves to being evaded. The smaller units that stick out and cause you to stand back about ten feet, or the rarer troughs, are a no-brainer. If you’re at a concert venue that has a washroom equipped with these compact awkward receptacles you’ll probably learn by heart the length, circumference and pubic hair design of the men on either side of you after a 30 second tinkle. There’s also the kind that extend to the ground – I feel like I’m going to get pee on my shoe when whiz in these. If there are barriers or “splash guards” between urinals – then I have no problem. They should all have these obstructions. Women pee in stalls; they don’t just pop-a-squat along a wall of drains with only their hips and asses covered.

Types of pants

Wearing pants with a button-fly is a consequential deterrence towards the use of a urinal. It is very difficult to unbutton a fly without unfastening the top stud under the belt, thus you need the privacy to wave freely and avoid your buckle slapping up against the side of urine-soaked ceramic.

When I’m Drunk

Then I just don’t give a fuck. Drinking seems to encourage the revealing of reproductive organs.

Conclusion

In short having the decision to either relieving myself in private or touching shoulders with someone else while they do the same is a forgone conclusion. Homoeroticism exists in the nearness of same sex genitalia and if all I have to do is go behind a door to avoid this than I will.

Written by shanedantimo

October 13, 2010 at 11:15 pm